Shades of Grey

P was upset because we allowed N to do something then didn't allow him to do the "exact same thing". The reality was that the circumstances were very different, but he was only looking at the similarities. I encouraged them to look at all the factors and circumstances when comparing situations. For example, N recently played his favorite song of the moment on the home stereo. P complained he was sick and tired of hearing that song and asked N to change it. Because we had already heard that song several times that day, and it is a song that can indeed be annoying (So Long and Thanks for All the Fish from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Soundtrack) I sided with P and changed the song. However, when A played a song and N asked him to change it I sided with A because it was not a song we had heard recently and it was not a particularly long or annoying song.

Another example: a complaint from one of the kid's teachers might result in the loss of computer privileges if it follows poor grades or other complaints. A similar complaint might not have consequences if it is isolated. Similar complaints, different circumstances.

Of course certain situations are "Black & White". And we sometimes establish some very clear rules. But it seem more often than not, there are shades of Grey to consider...